Monday, November 17, 2014

Survival Tacos

Tonight I had one of those parenting survival moments. I'd been home from work for exactly one hour, and I found myself in front of the stove in my sweatpants, listening to Adele, surreptitiously stuffing a brownie in my face while browning a pound of hamburger with no idea what we were having for dinner. And the box of wine on my counter was so temptingly close.

It doesn't matter what circumstances brought me to that moment of emotional-eating and panic-cooking (seriously, it is a Monday), I was just keeping on in the best way I knew at the time. It took a moment, about three bites in brownie years, and the sound of my boys filtered in through the cotton of too many essays, too much puppy pee, and too many math problems. My guys were sitting behind me at the counter drawing funny faces, oohing and aahing over their brother's creations. And then I suddenly knew I would make tacos with my hamburger, one of their favorites and easy to serve with our never ending supply of bulk tortillas and shredded cheese from Costco. Kept on hand exactly for these occasions. Survival tacos.

 From the little moments of exhaustion at the end of a busy day to those gut-wrenching moments of terror in the unknown, survival is about feeding your soul, sometimes via your face, with enough energy to carry you through until your breath takes hold and the darkness fades. So wear your sweatpants, eat the brownie, put the puppy in the kennel, turn the music up as loud as you want, whatever you need tonight.



Saturday, July 19, 2014

Tic Tac Toe Cookies

A couple weeks ago at the dinner table I noticed a cookie recipe on the back of the ketchup bottle. Peanut butter tic tac toe cookies with a very special ingredient. My curiosity got the best of me and the next day the boys and I made a batch of very orange cookies with a slight ketchup finish. One of the boys loved them, the other was disgusted, and I could only draw the conclusion of...huh. 

Every Thursday of this summer, the boys and I have done a science project (or two:). We started with a few kits and sets that we had saved from Christmas for the nicer weather before moving on to a couple books that have been gifted to the boys over the years. We have grown magic water crystals, 'excavated' dinosaur bones, created chemical reactions, and soaked celery in colored water. When they are curious about something, a concept, an idea or even a recipe, I want them to feel empowered to explore and pursue their inklings. They pick the projects that appeal to them, anticipate them during the week, gather the supplies and theorize about what the outcome might be.

One outcome that I had not expected was the disappointment that follows all good scientists. A couple of our projects have not turned out like we thought, and dealing with the let down together in a healthy way has been good for the boys to experience. When the boys tore into their blocks of clay with chisels to excavate their dinosaurs, one block contained no bones. When it became apparent that one of our kits was a dud, I had to think quick (all the while composing an email on quality control for the manufacturer). We talked about what paleontologists might learn from an empty dig site. We decided that instead of solo fossil hunting, we would work as a team on the bones that were provided as promised. When one of our liters of soda was too flat to react to the Mentos we dropped into it, we talked about the science of chemical reactions, how the conditions have to be right for certain interactions, and how we can always try again.

And we talked about how  things don't always work out the way we want or expect them to. Sometimes life is disappointing. It's okay to feel sad if something doesn't work out. We can try to find some meaning it what happened, but it isn't always there. One thing we can count on is each other. Our family works as a team, and sometimes that means supporting the pursuit of curiosity or supporting each other.   

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Salmon with Lemon and Dill

We are just home from our major camping event of the summer, having spent three nights at Crow Wing State Park. In our effort to visit all of the MN State Parks with the boys, we hit #16 with Crow Wing and #17 with Cuyuna Country Recreational Area, both beautiful parks with lots of deer, fish, birds and trails to keep us occupied.

Camping is one of those love it/hate it activities. Some people can't get enough of the campfires and sleeping bags, while others abhor the thought of sleeping in a tent amid the mosquitoes. As much as we love sleeping outside on a clear night, camping is a lot of work. It all takes twice as much stuff to work three times as hard for all the pieces to come together. And then you get home and have to clean it all up while checking for ticks!

It's easy to get distracted by all this effort from the very reason we keep finding new and creative ways to haul our gear to far corners of our great state. We live in a beautiful world, surrounded by clear lakes, diverse wildlife, tall trees, colorful flowers and buzzing insects, and if we aren't mindful of the bounty in our own backyard, we can't truly be good stewards of our earth.

This camping trip we tried a couple new things in an effort to be more mindful of our surroundings. First, I of course tried some new recipes. When the boys were younger, we ate easy heat and serve camping food as the boys needed a lot of supervision to keep them away from the fire and poison ivy. Now that they are older, it was time to try some actual camp food. This included fire roasted chicken skewers with peanut sauce, roasted corn on the  cob and coal cooked salmon with lemon and dill, all of which were delicious! There is something very primal and grounding about cooking over a fire with nothing but some wooden skewers and a little aluminum foil between you and the heat and the smoke. I had to build the fire, tend to the flames and coals, all while cooking our meals.

The second new activity we added to our trip was a series of meditations based on Thich Nhat Hanh's book A Handful of Quiet. Over the course of the first day, each of us looked to find four small rocks that appealed to us in some way. This required us to be aware of our surroundings and to help each other keep an eye out for small treasures. That evening, around the fire, we took some time to consider the space around us, breathing in the fresh air and listening to the wind and creatures in the woods. Each of our four rocks represented an element tied to strengths within each of us that we held in our minds as we breathed.  We did an abbreviated version of this at an outlook before we left as well, where we each picked our favorite stone and element to focus on as we gazed out over the Mississippi River.

Meditation, in addition to bringing us closer to our surroundings through mindfulness, is a tenant of Buddhist practice. Our youngest son was born Buddhist, and this is one practice we can use to remain close to a vital part of his history and culture. We are half a world away from Thailand, but we can find peace and closeness as a family with the spiritual practices of his homeland. That is why we go through all of the effort to go camping, to have new adventures and build lasting memories as a family, each with our own strengths and histories that bring something beautiful to the world.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Summer Detox

Over the years I have found that each summer break develops a theme of sorts. A few summers ago, with our youngest just home, it was cocooning. Then it was reemergence back into the world around us. Last year it was mind and body health, and this summer it has been thus far about detoxification and restoration. I just wanted to let go of the baggage of the last year and feel light and whole again. The process has actually been simpler than I thought with great results.

The last day of school for teachers is a misnomer because most of us work beyond that magic date on the calendar to write curriculum, catch up on technology practices, teach summer school, go to workshops, or all of the above. Last year I worked three extra weeks over the summer, away from my kids, paying for daycare, which is time that is just too valuable for me. This year, I worked one extra day on tech stuff, but then totally disengaged myself from school. I am not working on committees, doing any training, or going to meetings. I'm not even thinking about work to be honest, which feels healthy and good!

One easy place to continue the detox was with my diet. My first week off started with a three day detox diet program of fruits and vegetables. After a year of medications, pain pills and steroids, all linked to my surgery, I wanted to cleanse my system with clean and wholesome foods. The program consisted of smoothies for each meal, which was okay for the first two days, but by the third day, I was starving and my energy was low! I managed my morning smoothie, and then took the warning signs seriously and went back to solid food, though healthy choices.

I also recommitted to baking for the family. Each week I have a 'baking day' in which I put together the bread for the week, a breakfast selection of muffins or bread loaded with whole grains, fruits and veggies, and any dinner options for the week that I can make ahead, like a quiche or tart. Spending the afternoon in the kitchen listening to the soundtrack of my children playing outside the window is good for the spirit. I am assured of the quality and nutrition of the ingredients that we consume and can pour in the love for my family in with each spoon, cup or whisk.

There are many other ways I am trying to bring in the pure and good and purge the yuck. Each day I take the kids outside, whether in the backyard or at the park. We spend all school year in cramped and dusty rooms, and I just want to breathe in the fresh air and feel the sun on my skin. In my continued therapy for my Achilles problems, I have turned to massage and acupuncture, taking no pain meds, even over the counters. I have embraced the use of essential oils (another blog topic for sure!) for healing, relaxation, therapy and more in a natural and balanced approach. Each little bit helps to feel renewed.

One area I need to work on is my digital detox. My phone and Kindle travel most places with me. I do read a lot, but I don't really have any reason to check the celebrity gossip sites or play Candy Crush multiple times a day.  The phone can be a nasty habit, so I am going to work on this one in the coming weeks!

As I write this, I really need to consider, what habits and coping mechanisms do I want to pass on to my children and which ones do I want them to avoid? What can I learn from them, as they chase moths and play Captain America in the backyard, that can help me with my own bad habits? I have the time, a luxury of days off, so I need to use it well.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Summer Reads #1: Sixth Grave on the Edge

A few years ago I started keeping track of the books I read over my summer vacation, just for fun to indulge the book nerd that claims a pretty sizable chunk of my inner residence. This summer, at the suggestion of a few folks, I am going to blog about just some of my reads, mainly because blogging about 20-25 (on average) books would seriously cut into my reading time.

Now, I approach my summer reading with some strategy. I need a mix of genres and titles, required texts and trashy palate cleansers, hard covers and downloads. I never leave the house without a book, which means that I always carry a bag that can fit a book or my Kindle, though my latest phone with the Kindle app works in a pinch. I'm not afraid to read more than one book at a time, especially if one is particularly long, tragic or work-related. I have titles on a reserve list from the library, a fully stocked e-library on my device, and several thrift store finds on my night stand at the ready. My prime reading hours are afternoon rest time and an hour or so after the rest of the house is asleep, though I catch quite a few pages in the backyard or at the park. I am a fast reader, and I never finish a book without starting a few pages of the next one.

My first book of the season was Sixth Grave on the Edge, by Darynda Jones, part of an urban fantasy series about a private investigator who discovers that she is the Grim Reaper and must assist the departed in whatever prevents them from crossing over. Oh, and she has fallen in love with the son of the devil, who is really a good guy despite his demon tendencies. It really is a trashy as it sounds, which is why I started with it to clear away all remnants of in-depth analysis of To Kill a Mockingbird and As I Lay Dying. This book, and series really, is entertaining and easy to read, without too much violence and gore. But it is not among my favorites, a few of which I have listed below.

The urban fantasy and paranormal romance genres are ones I enjoy as pure escapism, but not all books alike, so I put together my own guidelines for what I like to read.

1. Beware of urban fantasy that takes itself too seriously. There should be a bit of irreverence in books about vampires, witches and werewolves.
2.  The alternative world needs to make sense, with consistent rules about how all things magical and mystical work.
3. The characters shouldn't be too quirky and annoying. That really applies to all genres (hello, Janet Evanovich!), and is one of the reasons why this first book was merely okay.
4. Another one that applies to all genres, the main character should not be stupidly impulsive, thinking she is the only person who can solve the problem, which puts her in grave danger that requires a man to come and save her. Again, a problem with this series by Jones.

If you want to read some good, trashy in the best sense of the word books in urban fantasy, try some of these of these:

The Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher
Think private investigator noir with a wizard on the streets in Chicago.

The Hollows series by Kim Harrison
This one is close to my heart, mainly because it is set in my old stomping grounds of Cincinnati.

The Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris
This is the series that the show True Blood is based on, but the books are NOT as dark, bloody or gratuitously sexual as the series!

Let me know if you end up reading any of the books on my list or any of the suggestions above. I love to talk literature, even on my summer break:)

Summer Reads 2014

Finished:
       Sixth Grave on the Edge, by Darynda Jones

Currently Reading:
       Middlesex, by Jeffery Eugenides

Next Read:
       The Good Lord Bird, by James McBride

Monday, June 9, 2014

Rhubarb Pie

It seems like many a time I've started a blog post with some iteration of "I'm back," and this one isn't so different. I'm never really gone you know; it's just a matter of sitting down a putting the words to screen;)

This year has been a dark and difficult one for us. Surgery, unemployment, injury, more injury, a horrific winter as the frosty cherry on top it all. The lessons from it all are pretty universal: pain sucks, losing a job strains a family, the polar vortex is a menace. BUT people are kind and you soon learn who you can really count on to be in your corner and if you're lucky, which we are, you emerge into the light with scars that will eventually fade under the strength of survival.

The light for us is healing with good medical care. The light for us is a new job with old friends. The light for us is a late spring with blossoms near perfection.

And so we have celebrated our gratitude in the warmth of this light, in big and small ways. We threw a "We Survived the Winter" party. We adjusted to a new routine with two working parents. We made a pie with rhubarb fresh from the garden on a sunny afternoon.

I'm sure that there is a whole enduring the sour to appreciate the sweet connection between my pie and the paragraph above, but I'm moving forward from that trope to another theme I always seem to circle back to on this blog: gratitude.  I am so grateful to be moving into the summer with plans for science experiments, new recipes and a full garden. And as I reflect on the joys of renewed joy and energy, I'll try to put the words to the screen when I have the chance.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

12 Days of Blogging: Zucchini Muffins

This week I started a new meditation practice. I take a few moments to quiet my mind with deep breathing exercises. Once my mind is clear, I begin to focus on a single word. Gratitude. As I continue to breathe, I draw on the word with each breath in and as I exhale slowly I release from my mind something for which I feel grateful. I try to just let that something spring forth from a clear and genuine place, sending my gratitude out into the world as a positive force.


As the recovery from my foot surgery winds down, I am working to reestablish and maintain my focus on the mind-body connection for good health. This has been hard to do when I've been tired and sore and frustrated from the rigors of healing. But as the weeks have passed and the fog of pain meds have cleared and the daily aches have faded, I feel a renewed energy to focus on mindful exercise, healthy eating, relaxation, writing, meditation, and above all gratitude, which is a balm for the spirit.


So in this moment of gratitude, I am thankful for zucchini muffins. The family really loves them, and I froze several bags of grated zucchini from the garden this summer for the purpose of making them this winter. I have not been able to cook much in the last ten weeks, but tonight I made a batch of zucchini muffins, with the boys at the counter keeping me company, and it felt so good and natural. For the next couple days, I am going to mindful of each bite that nourishes us all.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

12 Days of Blogging: Polar Vortex

Happy New Year!

So it turns out that two weeks on pain medications put a bit of a hitch in my plans to blog towards twelve posts during my recovery from surgery, but because the spirit of the holidays is still in the air, I am going to continue in that same spirit:) Plus, my winter vacation was extended an extra day by the governor of Minnesota due to predicted cold weather on Monday, so I will take this as an opportunity to write and reflect!

I have to admit, I love a good winter weather event. Or I should say, the build up to a weather event. With the impending "polar vortex" descending upon us this evening, bringing potentially record breaking frigid temps, we are snuggling in for the duration. I made a last minute trip to the library for books. John went to the store for provisions. The boys took advantage of the lingering 16 degree heat of the afternoon for one last sledding adventure.

As teachers, there are undocumented numbers of us that are unofficial meteorologists. In the days before a predicted winter storm, we study the forecast with intense scrutiny for any indication of that great, rare conglomeration of factors which lead to the greatest part of snow, ice and cold: The Snow Day (Or Cold Weather Day). The conditions have to be perfect, the timing has to be precise, and we study the words of the newscasters for those magic words "Snow-Ice Mix."

There are rituals surrounding weather events that teachers employ as well. Some never speak the words, so as not to jinx the forecast. Others deny any possibility while secretly harboring hope deep inside. Some recall in great detail conditions of Snow Days past, remembering a better time with that other superintendent when the alarm was turned off or the extra pot of coffee put on. And the most industrious of us (certainly not me) put an extra set of papers in the bag, just in case.

As Minnesotans, there is a certain point on the thermometer every year where cold loses its number and just becomes cold. Self preservation takes over and all egos are checked somewhere around frumpy as we pile on the layers of underwear, tights, thermal garments, wool and polar fleece. The heavy boots get dusted off, and if you're lucky, you remembered to toss a pair of dress shoes in your bag on the way to work.

In the end there are only a couple things that matter regardless of the event. Stay safe and stay warm friends!