Com Chien (Vietnam)

Tonight was the perfect night for a dish thrown together with leftovers, and the Com Chien, fried rice, was perfectly hot, tasty and satisfying for our weary family, still recovering from celebrating Ian's birthday with two back-to-back parties. There was rice, a bowl of peas, a pork chop, the last egg in the house, a quick sauce, and done. Family fed. Early bed.

This busy weekend marked an early birthday for our soon to be five year old with a friends party, family chili dinner, and a Christmas exchange to top it off with John's mom and brother. The first wave of guests were kids from school and daycare, who partied with a room full of balloons and a birthday crown art project.

 But there was one little guy, Yuijin, who was just not about to have any fun. He sat on the stairs in his coat while the other kids worked to bat an entire bag of balloons up into the air. He could not be cajoled to join, though he stoically glued puff balls and pipe cleaners onto his crown for the art project. When it came time for treats, he declared he did not like cake, cookies, pretzels or juice boxes, and laid his head forlornly on the table, crown perched precariously, while the others ate. Finally, when it was time to open gifts, Yuijin simply pulled the Lego kit he brought out of the bag and handed it to Ian.

The party was a success in all other ways measured by the giggles and whooping and popping balloons. Yet I couldn't get little Yuijin out of my mind. What little kid doesn't like balloons and cake and presents? Well, probably a little kid who celebrates his birthday or special days in other ways. I had to shake my head a little over my own ignorance. We try so hard to build cultural awareness for our kids, but fell back on tradition without a second thought with this party.

There isn't much I would change (the party was awesome!) but I would have asked Yuijin what he liked or how he celebrated birthdays. I don't know if I would have been able to accommodate him in that moment, if I could have stirred in another element to the day.  But maybe he would have felt more at ease. I just know that as I encourage my kids to reach out to others and embrace diverse friends, I need to be prepared to walk my own talk.